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X MR. MUNCHAUSEN'S ADVENTURE WITH A SHARK
Mr. Munchausen graciously
received the callers and asked what he could do for them. "Our readers, Mr.
Munchausen," explained Ananias, "have been much concerned over
rumours of your death at the hands of a shark." "Sharks have no
hands," said the Baron quietly. "Well — that aside," observed Ananias.
"Were you killed by a shark?" "Not that I
recall," said the Baron. "I may have been, but I don't remember it.
Indeed I recall only one adventure with a shark. That grew out of my mission on
behalf of France to the Czar of Russia. I carried letters once from the King of
France to his Imperial Coolness the Czar." "What was the nature
of the letters?" asked Ananias. "I never knew,"
replied the Baron. "As I have said, it was a secret mission, and the
French Government never took me into its confidence. The only thing I know
about it is that I was sent to St. Petersburg, and I went, and in the course of
time I made myself much beloved of both the people and his Majesty the Czar. I
am the only person that ever lived that was liked equally by both, and if I had
attached myself permanently to the Czar, Russia would have been a different country
to-day." "What country would it
have been, Mr. Munchausen," asked Sapphira innocently, "Germany or
Siam?" "I can't specify, my
dear madame," the Baron replied. "It wouldn't be fair. But, at any
rate, I went to Russia, and was treated warmly by everybody, except the
climate, which was, as it is at all times, very freezing. That's the reason the
Russian people like the climate. It is the only thing the Czar can't change by
Imperial decree, and the people admire its independence and endure it for that
reason. But as I have said, everybody was pleased with me, and the Czar showed
me unusual attention. He gave fêtes in my honour. He gave the most princely
dinners, and I met the very best people in St. Petersburg, and at one of these
dinners I was invited to join a yachting party on a cruise around the world. "Well, of course,
though a landsman in every sense of the word, I am fond of yachting, and I
immediately accepted the invitation. The yacht we went on was the Boomski
Zboomah, belonging to Prince — er — now what was that Prince's name!
Something like — er — Sheeroff or Jibski — or
— er — well, never mind that. I
meet so many princes it is difficult to remember their names. We'll say his
name was Jibski." "Suppose we do,"
said Ananias, with a jealous grin. "Jibski is such a remarkable name. It
will look well in print." "All right," said
the Baron, "Jibski be it. The yacht belonged to Prince Jibski, and she was
a beauty. There was a stateroom and a steward for everybody on board, and
nothing that could contribute to a man's comfort was left unattended to. We set
sail on the 23rd of August, and after cruising about the North coast of Europe
for a week or two, we steered the craft south, and along about the middle of September
we reached the Amphibian Islands, and anchored. It was here that I had my first
and last experience with sharks. If they had been plain, ordinary sharks I'd
have had an easy time of it, but when you get hold of these Amphibian sharks
you are likely to get yourself into twenty-three different kinds of
trouble." "My!" said
Sapphira. "All those? Does the number include being struck by
lightning?" "Yes," the Baron
answered, "And when you remember that there are only twenty-four different
kinds altogether you can see what a peck of trouble an Amphibian shark can get
you into. I thought my last hour had come when I met with him. You see when we
reached the Amphibian Islands, we naturally thought we'd like to go ashore and
pick the cocoanuts and raisins and other things that grow there, and when I got
upon dry land again I felt strongly tempted to go down upon the beautiful little
beach in the harbour and take a swim. Prince Jibski advised me against it, but
I was set upon going. He told me the place was full of sharks, but I wasn't
afraid because I was always a remarkably rapid swimmer, and I felt confident of
my ability, in case I saw a shark coming after me, to swim ashore before he
could possibly catch me, provided I had ten yards start. So in I went leaving
my gun and clothing on the beach. Oh, it was fun! The water was quite warm, and
the sandy bottom of the bay was deliciously soft and pleasant to the feet. I
suppose I must have sported in the waves for ten or fifteen minutes before the
trouble came. I had just turned a somersault in the water, when, as my head
came to the surface, I saw directly in front of me, the unmistakable fin of a
shark, and to my unspeakable dismay not more than five feet away. As I told
you, if it had been ten yards away I should have had no fear, but five feet
meant another story altogether. My heart fairly jumped into my mouth. It would
have sunk into my boots if I had had them on, but I hadn't, so it leaped upward
into my mouth as I turned to swim ashore, by which time the shark had reduced
the distance between us by one foot. I feared that all was up with me, and was
trying to think of an appropriate set of last words, when Prince Jibski, noting
my peril, fired one of the yacht's cannon in our direction. Ordinarily this would
have been useless, for the yacht's cannon was never loaded with anything but a
blank charge, but in this instance it was better than if it had been loaded
with ball and shot, for not only did the sound of the explosion attract the
attention of the shark and cause him to pause for a moment, but also the
wadding from the gun dropped directly upon my back, so showing that Prince
Jibski's aim was not as good as it might have been. Had the cannon been loaded
with a ball or a shell, you can very well understand how it would have happened
that yours truly would have been killed then and there." "We should have missed
you," said Ananias sweetly. "Thanks," said
the Baron. "But to resume. The shark's pause gave me the start I needed,
and the heat from the burning wadding right between my shoulders caused me to
redouble my efforts to get away from the shark and it, so that I never swam faster
in my life, and was soon standing upon the shore, jeering at my fearful
pursuer, who, strange to say, showed no inclination to stop the chase now that
I was, as I thought, safely out of his reach. I didn't jeer very long I can
tell you, for in another minute I saw why the shark didn't stop chasing me, and
why Amphibian sharks are worse than any other kind. That shark had not only
fins like all other sharks to swim with, but he had likewise three pairs of
legs that he could use on land quite as well as he could use the fins in the
water. And then began the prettiest chase you ever saw in your life. As he
emerged from the water I grabbed up my gun and ran. Round and round the island
we tore, I ahead, he thirty or forty yards behind, until I got to a place where
I could stop running and take a hasty shot at him. Then I aimed, and fired. My
aim was good, but struck one of the huge creature's teeth, broke it off short,
and bounded off to one side. This made him more angry than ever, and he
redoubled his efforts to catch me. I redoubled mine, until I could get another
shot at him. The second shot, like the first, struck the creature in the teeth,
only this time it was more effective. The bullet hit his jaw lengthwise, and
knocked every tooth on that side of his head down his throat. So it went. I
ran. He pursued. I fired; he lost his teeth, until finally I had knocked out every
tooth he had, and then, of course, I wasn't afraid of him, and let him come up
with me. With his teeth he could have ground me to atoms at one bite. Without
them he was as powerless as a bowl of currant jelly, and when he opened his
huge jaws, as he supposed to bite me in two, he was the most surprised looking
fish you ever saw on land or sea to discover that the effect his jaws had upon my
safety was about as great as had they been nothing but two feather bed mattresses." "You must have been
badly frightened, though," said Ananias. "No," said the
Baron. "I laughed in the poor disappointed thing's face, and with a howl
of despair, he rushed back into the sea again. I made the best time I could
back to the yacht for fear he might return with assistance." "And didn't you ever
see him again, Baron?" asked Sapphira. "Yes, but only from
the deck of the yacht as we were weighing anchor," said Mr. Munchausen.
"I saw him and a dozen others like him doing precisely what I thought they
would do, going ashore to search me out so as to have a little cold Munch for
dinner. I'm glad they were disappointed, aren't you?" "Yes, indeed,"
said Ananias and Sapphira, but not warmly. Ananias was silent for a
moment, and then walking over to one of the bookcases, he returned in a moment,
bringing with him a huge atlas. "Where are the
Amphibian Islands, Mr. Munchausen?" he said, opening the book. "Show
them to me on the map. I'd like to print the map with my story." "Oh, I can't do
that," said the Baron, "because they aren't on the map any more. When
I got back to Europe and told the map-makers about the dangers to man on those
islands, they said that the interests of humanity demanded that they be lost.
So they took them out of all the geographies, and all the cyclopædias, and all the other
books, so that nobody ever again should be tempted to go there; and there isn't
a school-teacher or a sailor in the world to-day who could tell you where they
are." "But, you know, don't
you?" persisted Ananias. "Well, I did,"
said the Baron; "but, really I have had to remember so many other things
that I have forgotten that. All that I know is that they were named from the
fact that they were infested by Amphibious animals, which are animals that can
live on land as well as on water." "How strange!"
said Sapphira. "It's just too queer
for anything," said Ananias, "but on the whole I'm not
surprised." And the Baron said he was
glad to hear it. "I laughed in the poor disappointed thing's face, and with a howl of despair he rushed back into the sea." |