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VII SAVED BY A MAGIC LANTERN When the Sunday dinner was over, the Twins, on
Mr. Munchausen's invitation, climbed into the old warrior's lap, Angelica
kissing him on the ear, and Diavolo giving his nose an affectionate tweak. "Ah!" said the
Baron. "That's it!" "What's what, Uncle
Munch?" demanded Diavolo. "Why that,"
returned the Baron. "I was wondering what it was I needed to make my
dinner an unqualified success. There was something lacking, but what it was, we
have had so much, I could not guess until you two Imps kissed me and tweaked my
nasal feature. Now I know, for really a feeling of the most blessed contentment
has settled upon my soul." "Don't you wish you had two youngsters like us, Uncle
Munch?" asked the Twins. "Do I wish I had? Why
I have got two youngsters like you," the Baron replied. "I've got 'em
right here too." "Where?" asked
the Twins, looking curiously about them for the other two. "On my knees, of
course," said he. "You are mine. Your papa gave you to me — and you are as like yourselves as two
peas in a pod." "I — I hope you aren't going to take us away from here," said
the Twins, a little ruefully. They were very fond of the Baron, but they didn't
exactly like the idea of being given away. "Oh no — not at all," said the Baron.
"Your father has consented to keep you here for me and your mother has
kindly volunteered to look after you. There is to be no change, except that you
belong to me, and, vice versa, I belong to you." "And I suppose,
then," said Diavolo, "if you belong to us you've got to do pretty
much what we tell you to?" "Exactly,"
responded Mr. Munchausen. "If you should ask me to tell you a story I'd
have to do it, even if you were to demand the full particulars of how I spent
Christmas with Mtulu, King of the Taafe Eatars, on the upper Congo away down in
Africa — which is a tale I have never
told any one in all my life." "It sounds as if it
might be interesting," said the Twins. "Those are real candy names,
aren't they?" "Yes," said the
Baron. "Taafe sounds like taffy and Mtulu is very suggestive of chewing
gum. That's the curious thing about the savage tribes of Africa. Their names
often sound as if they might be things to eat instead of people. Perhaps that
is why they sometimes eat each other — though,
of course, I won't say for sure that that is the real explanation of
cannibalism." "What's
cannon-ballism?" asked Angelica. "He didn't say
cannon-ballism," said Diavolo, scornfully. "It was candy-ballism." "Well — you've both come pretty near
it," said the Baron, "and we'll let the matter rest there, or I won't
have time to tell you how Christmas got me into trouble with King Mtulu." The Baron called for a
cigar, which the Twins lighted for him and then he began. "You may not have
heard," he said, "that some twenty or thirty years ago I was in
command of an expedition in Africa. Our object was to find Lake Majolica, which
we hoped would turn up half way between Lollokolela and the Clebungo Mountains.
Lollokolela was the furthermost point to which civilisation had reached at that
time, and was directly in the pathway to the Clebungo Mountains, which the natives
said were full of gold and silver mines and scattered all over which were
reputed to be caves in which diamonds and rubies and other gems of the rarest
sort were to be found in great profusion. No white man had ever succeeded in
reaching this marvellously rich range of hills for the reason that after
leaving Lollokolela there was, as far as was known, no means of obtaining
water, and countless adventurous spirits had had to give up because of the
overpowering thirst which the climate brought upon them. "Under such
circumstances it was considered by a company of gentlemen in London to be well
worth their while to set about the discovery of a lake, which they decided in
advance to call Majolica, for reasons best known to themselves; they probably
wanted to jar somebody with it. And to me was intrusted the mission of leading
the expedition. I will confess that I did not want to go for the very good
reason that I did not wish to be eaten alive by the savage tribes that infested
that region, but the company provided me with a close fitting suit of mail, which
I wore from the time I started until I returned. It was very fortunate for me
that I was so provided, for on three distinct occasions I was served up for
state dinners and each time successfully resisted the carving knife and as a
result, was thereafter well received, all the chiefs looking upon me as one who
bore a charmed existence." Here the Baron paused long
enough for the Twins to reflect upon and realise the terrors which had beset
him on his way to Lake Majolica, and be it said that if they had thought him
brave before they now deemed him a very hero of heroes. "When I set out,"
said the Baron, "I was accompanied by ten Zanzibaris and a thousand tins
of condensed dinners." "A thousand what,
Uncle Munch?" asked Jack, his mouth watering. "Condensed
dinners," said the Baron, "I had a lot of my favourite dinners
condensed and put up in tins. I didn't expect to be gone more than a year and a
thousand dinners condensed and tinned, together with the food I expected to
find on the way, elephant meat, rhinoceros steaks, and tiger chops, I thought
would suffice for the trip. I could eat the condensed dinners and my followers
could have the elephant's meat, rhinoceros steaks, and tiger chops — not to mention the bananas and other
fruits which grow wild in the African jungle. It was not long, however, before
I made the discovery that the Zanzibaris, in order to eat tigers, need to learn
first how to keep tigers from eating them. We went to bed late one night on the
fourth day out from Lollokolela, and when we waked up the next morning every
mother's son of us, save myself, had been eaten by tigers, and again it was
nothing but my coat of mail that saved me. There were eighteen tigers' teeth sticking
into the sleeve of the coat, as it was. You can imagine my distress at having
to continue the search for Lake Majolica alone. It was then that I acquired the
habit of talking to myself, which has kept me young ever since, for I enjoy my
own conversation hugely, and find myself always a sympathetic listener. I
walked on for days and days, until finally, on Christmas Eve, I reached King
Mtulu's palace. Of course your idea of a palace is a magnificent five-story
building with beautiful carvings all over the front of it, marble stair-cases and
handsomely painted and gilded ceilings. King Mtulu's palace was nothing of the
sort, although for that region it was quite magnificent, the walls being
decorated with elephants' tusks, crocodile teeth and many other treasures such
as delight the soul of the Central African. "Now as I may not have
told you, King Mtulu was the fiercest of the African chiefs, and it is said
that up to the time when I outwitted him no white man had ever encountered him
and lived to tell the tale. Consequently, when without knowing it on this sultry
Christmas Eve, laden with the luggage and the tinned dinners and other things I
had brought with me I stumbled upon the blood-thirsty monarch I gave myself up
for lost. "'Who comes here to
disturb the royal peace?' cried Mtulu, savagely, as I crossed the threshold. "'It is I, your
highness,' I returned, my face blanching, for I recognized him at once by the
ivory ring he wore in the end of his nose. "'Who is I?' retorted
Mtulu, picking up his battle axe and striding forward. "A happy thought
struck me then. These folks are superstitious. Perhaps the missionaries may
have told these uncivilised creatures the story of Santa Claus. I will pretend
that I am Santa Claus. So I answered, 'Who is I, O Mtulu, Bravest of the Taafe
Chiefs? I am Santa Claus, the Children's Friend, and bearer of gifts to and for
all.' "Mtulu gazed at me
narrowly for a moment and then he beat lightly upon a tom-tom at his side.
Immediately thirty of the most villainous-looking natives, each armed with a
club, appeared. "'Arrest that man,'
said Mtulu, 'before he goes any farther. He is an impostor.' "'If your majesty
pleases,' I began. "'Silence!' he cried,
'I am fierce and I eat men, but I love truth. The truthful man has nothing to
fear from me, for I have been converted from my evil ways and since last New
Year's day I have eaten only those who have attempted to deceive me. You will
be served raw at dinner to-morrow night. My respect for your record as a man of
courage leads me to spare you the torture of the frying-pan. You are Baron Munchausen.
I recognized you the moment you turned pale. Another man would have blushed.' "So I was carried off
and shut up in a mud hovel, the interior walls of which were of white, a fact
which strangely enough, preserved my life when later I came to the crucial
moment. I had brought with me, among other things, for my amusement solely, a
magic lantern. As a child, I had always been particularly fond of pictures, and
when I thought of the lonely nights in Africa, with no books at hand, no theatres,
no cotillions to enliven the monotony of my life, I resolved to take with me my
little magic-lantern as much for company as for anything else. It was very
compact in form. It folded up to be hardly larger than a wallet containing a
thousand one dollar bills, and the glass lenses of course could be carried
easily in my trousers pockets. The views, instead of being mounted on glass,
were put on a substance not unlike glass, but thinner, called gelatine. All of
these things I carried in my vest pockets, and when Mtulu confiscated my
luggage the magic lantern and views of course escaped his notice. "Christmas morning
came and passed and I was about to give myself up for lost, for Mtulu was not a
king to be kept from eating a man by anything so small as a suit of mail, when
I received word that before dinner my captor and his suite were going to pay me
a formal parting call. Night was coming on and as I sat despondently awaiting
the king's arrival, I suddenly bethought me of a lantern slide of the British
army, standing and awaiting the command to fire, I happened to have with me. It
was a superb view — lifelike as you
please. Why not throw that on the wall and when Mtulu enters he will find me apparently
with a strong force at my command, thought I. It was no sooner thought than it
was done and my life was saved. Hardly was that noble picture reflected upon
the rear wall of my prison when the door opened and Mtulu, followed by his
suite, appeared. I rose to greet him, but apparently he saw me not. Mute with
terror he stood upon the threshold gazing at that terrible line of soldiers
ready as he thought to sweep him and his men from the face of the earth with
their death-dealing bullets. " 'I am your slave,' he replied to my greeting, kneeling before me, 'I yield all to you.' " "'I am your slave,' he
replied to my greeting, kneeling before me, 'I yield all to you.' "'I thought you
would,' said I. 'But I ask nothing save the discovery of Lake Majolica. If
within twenty-four hours Lake Majolica is not discovered I give the command to
fire!' Then I turned and gave the order to carry arms, and lo! by a quick
change of slides, the army appeared at a carry. Mtulu gasped with terror, but
accepted my ultimatum. I was freed, Lake Majolica was discovered before ten o'clock
the next morning, and at five o'clock I was on my way home, the British army
reposing quietly in my breast pocket. It was a mighty narrow escape!" "I should say
so," said the Twins. "But Mtulu must have been awful stupid not to
see what it was." "Didn't he see through
it when he saw you put the army in your pocket?" asked Diavolo. "No," said the
Baron, "that frightened him worse than ever, for you see he reasoned this
way. If I could carry an army in my pocket-book, what was to prevent my carrying
Mtulu himself and all his tribe off in the same way! He thought I was a
marvellous man to be able to do that." "Well, we guess he was
right," said the Twins, as they climbed down from the Baron's lap to find
an atlas and search the map of Africa for Lake Majolica. This they failed to
find and the Baron's explanation is unknown to me, for when the Imps returned,
the warrior had departed. |