Web
and Book design, Copyright, Kellscraft Studio 1999-2006 (Return to Web Text-ures) |
|
(HOME) |
FOUR DREAMERS I REMEMBER
the
first man I ever saw sitting still by himself out of doors. What his
name was
I do not know. I never knew. He was a stranger, who came to visit in
our
village when I was perhaps ten years old. I had crossed a field, and
gone over
a low hill (not so low then as now), and there, in the shade of an
apple tree,
I beheld this stranger, not fishing, nor digging, nor eating an apple,
nor
picking berries, nor setting snares, but sitting still. It was almost
like
seeing a ghost. I doubt if I was ever the same boy afterward. Here was
a new
kind of man. I wondered if he was a poet! Even then I think I had heard
that
poets sometimes acted strangely, and saw things invisible to others'
ken. I should
not have
been surprised, I suppose, to have found a man looking at a picture,
some
nice, high-colored “chromo,” such as was a fashionable parlor ornament
in our
rural neighborhood, where there was more theology to the square foot
(and no
preacher then extant with orthodoxy strait enough to satisfy it, though
some
could still make the blood curdle) than there was of art or poetry to
the
square acre; but to be looking at Nat Shaw's hayfield and the old
unpainted
house beyond — that marked the stranger at once as not belonging in the
ranks
of common men. If he was not a poet, he must be at least a scholar.
Perhaps he
was going to be a minister, for he seemed too young to be one already.
A
minister had to think, of course (so I thought then), else how could he
preach?
and perhaps this man was meditating a sermon. I fancied I should like
to hear a
sermon that had been studied out of doors. Times have
changed
with me. Now I sit out of doors myself, and by myself, and look for
half an
hour together at a tree, or a bunch of trees, or a lazy brook, or a
stretch of
green meadow. And I know that such things can be enjoyed by one who is
neither
a poet nor a preacher, but just a quite ordinary, uneducated mortal,
who
happens, by the grace of God,
to have had his eyes opened to natural beauty and his heart made
sensitive to
the delights of solitude. I have learned that it is possible to enjoy
scenery
at home as well as abroad, — scenery without mountains or waterfalls;
scenery
that no tourist would call “fine;” a bit of green valley, an ancient
apple
orchard, a woodland vista, an acre of marsh, a cattle pasture. In fact,
I have
observed that painters choose quiet subjects like these oftener than
any of the
more exceptional and stupendous manifestations of nature. Perhaps it
is
because such subjects are easier; but I suspect not. I suspect, indeed,
that
they are harder, and are preferred because, to the painter's eye, they
are more
permanently beautiful. At this
very moment
I am looking at a patch of meadow inclosing a shallow pool of standing
water,
over the surface of which a high wind is chasing little waves. A few
low alders
are near it, and the grass is green all about. That of itself is a
sight, to
make a man happy. For the world just now is consumed with drought. All
the
uplands are sere, and every roadside bush is begrimed with dust. I have
come
through the woods to this convenient knoll on purpose to find relief
from the
prevailing desolation — to rest my eyes upon green grass. For the eye
loves
green grass as well, almost, as the throat loves cold water. Even in my
boyish
country neighborhood, though nobody, or nobody that I knew (which may
have been
a very different matter), did what I am now doing, there were some, I
think
(one or two, at least), who in their own way indulged much the same
tastes that
I have come to felicitate myself upon possessing. I remember one man,
dead long
since, who was continually walking the fields and woods, always with a
spaniel
at his heels, alone except for that company. He often carried a gun,
and in
autumn he snared partridges (how I envied him his skill!); but I
believe, as I
look back, that best and first of all he must have loved the woods and
the silence.
He was supposed to have his faults. No doubt he had. I have since
discovered
that most men are in the same category. I believe he used to “drink,”
as our
word was then. But I think now that I should have liked to know him,
and should
have found him congenial, if I had been mature enough, and could have
got below
the protective crust which naturally grows over a man whose ways of
life and
thought are different from those of all the people about him. I have
little
question that when he was out of the sight of the world he was
accustomed to
sit as I do to-day, and look and look and dream. One thing
he did
not dream of, — that a boy to whom he had never spoken would be
thinking of him
forty years after he had taken his last ramble and snared his last
grouse. “An
idler,” said
his busier neighbors, though he earned his own living and paid his own
scot. “A
misspent life,”
said the clergy, though he harmed no one. But who
can tell?
“Who knoweth the interpretation of a thing?” Perhaps his, also, was —
for him —
a good philosophy. As one of the ancients said, “A man's mind is wont
to tell
him more than seven men that sit upon a tower.” If we are not born
alike, why
should we be bound to live alike? “A handful with quietness” is not so
bad a
portion. Yes, but
time is
precious. Time once past never returns. True. We must
make the
best of it, therefore. True. By making
more shoes.
Nay, that
is not so
certain. The sun is
getting
low. Longer and longer tree-shadows come creeping over the grass,
making the
light beyond them so much the brighter and lovelier. The oak leaves
shimmer as
the wind twists the branches. The green aftermath is of all exquisite
shades. A
beautiful bit of the world. The meadow is like a cup. For an hour I
have been
drinking life out of it. Now I will
return
home by a narrow path, well-worn, but barely wide enough for a man's
steps; a
path that nobody uses, so far as I know, except myself. Till within a
year or
two it belonged to a hermit, who kept it in the neatest possible
condition.
That was his chief employment. His path was the apple of his eye. He
was as
jealous over it as the most fastidious of village householders is over
his
front-yard lawn. Not a pebble, nor so much as an acorn, must disfigure
it.
Fallen twigs were his special abhorrence, though he treated them
handsomely.
Little piles or stacks of them were scattered at short intervals along
the way,
neatly corded up, every stick in line. I noticed these mysterious
accumulations before I had ever seen the maker of them, and wondered
not a
little who could have been to so much seemingly aimless trouble. At
first I
imagined that some one must have laid the wood together with a view to
carrying
it home for the kitchen stove. But the bits were too small, no bigger
round,
many of them, than a man's little finger; not even Goody Blake could
have
thought such things worth pilfering for firewood; and besides, it was
plain
that many of them had lain where they were over at least one winter. The affair
remained
a riddle until I saw the man himself. This I did but a few times, a
long way
apart, and always at a little distance. Generally his eyes were
fastened on
the ground. Sometimes he had a stick in his hand, and was brushing
leaves and
other litter out of the path. Perhaps he had married a model
housekeeper in his
youth, and had gone mad over the spring cleaning. He always saw me
before I
could get within easy speaking range; and he had the true woodman's
knack of
making himself suddenly invisible. Sometimes I was almost ready to
believe that
he had dropped into the ground. Evidently he did not mean to be talked
with.
Perhaps he feared that should ask impertinent questions. More likely he
thought
me crazy. If not, why should I be wandering alone about the woods to no
purpose? I had no path to keep in order. And perhaps I am a little crazy. Medical men insist upon it that the milder forms of insanity are much more nearly universal than is commonly supposed. Perfectly sound minds, I understand them to intimate, are quite as rare as perfectly sound bodies. At that rate there cannot be more than two or three truly sane men in this small town; and the probabilities are that I am not one of them. |