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XXIII CHATTERER GROWS VERY, VERY, BOLD "I’m not afraid. I am
afraid.
I'm not afraid. I am afraid. I'm not afraid." Chatterer kept saying
these
two things over and over and over again to himself. You see, he really
was
afraid, and he was trying to make himself believe that he wasn't
afraid. He
thought that perhaps if he said ever and ever so many times that he
wasn't
afraid, he might actually make himself believe it. The trouble was that
every
time he said it, a little voice, a little, truthful voice down inside,
seemed
to speak right up and tell him that he was afraid. Poor Chatterer! It hurt
his pride to
have to own to himself that he wasn't as brave as little Tommy Tit the
Chickadee. His common sense told him that there was no reason in the
world why
he shouldn't be. Tommy Tit went every day and took food from the hand
of Farmer
Brown's boy. It seemed to Chatterer, and to Happy Jack the Gray
Squirrel, and
to Peter Rabbit, and to Sammy Jay, and to Blacky the Crow, all of whom
had seen
him do it, as if it were the very bravest thing they ever had seen, and
their
respect for Tommy Tit grew wonderfully. But Tommy Tit himself
didn't think
it brave at all. No, Sir, Tommy knew better. You see, he has a great
deal of
common sense under the little black cap he wears. "It may have been brave
of me
to do it the first time," thought he to himself, when the others told
him
how brave they thought him, "but it isn't brave of me now, because I
know
that no harm is going to come to me from Farmer Brown's boy. There
isn't any
bravery about it, and it might be just the same way with Chatterer and
all the
other little forest and meadow people, if only they would think so, and
give Farmer
Brown's boy half a chance." Chatterer was beginning
to have some
such thoughts himself, as he tried to make himself think that he wasn't
afraid.
He heard the door of Farmer Brown's house slam and peeped out from the
old
stone wall. There was Farmer Brown's boy with a big, fat hickory nut
held out
in the most tempting way, and Farmer Brown's boy was whistling the same
gentle
little whistle he had used when Chatterer was his prisoner, and he had
brought
good things for Chatterer to eat. Of course Chatterer knew perfectly
well that
that whistle was a call for him, and that that big fat hickory nut was
intended
for him. Almost before he thought, he had left the old stone wall and
was half
way over to Farmer Brown's boy. Then he stopped short. It seemed as if
that
little voice inside had fairly shouted in his ears: "I am afraid." It was true; he was
afraid. He was
right on the very point of turning to scurry back to the old stone
wall, when
he heard another voice. This time it wasn't a voice inside. No, indeed!
It was
a voice from the top of one of the apple-trees in the Old Orchard, and
this is
what it said: "Coward! Coward! Coward!"
It
was Sammy Jay speaking. Now it is one thing to
tell yourself
that you are afraid, and it is quite another thing to be told by some
one else
that you are afraid. "No such thing! No such
thing!
I'm not afraid! " scolded Chatterer, and then to prove it, he suddenly
raced forward, snatched the fat hickory nut from the hand of Farmer
Brown's
boy, and was back in the old stone wall. It was hard to tell which was
the most
surprised — Chatterer himself, Farmer Brown's boy, or Sammy Jay. "I did. it! I did it! I
did it!"
boasted Chatterer. "You don't dare do it
again,
though!" said Sammy Jay, in the most provoking and unpleasant way. "I do too!" snapped
Chatterer, and he did it. And with the taking of that second fat nut
from the
hand of Farmer Brown's boy, the very last bit of fear of him left
Chatterer,
and. he knew that Tommy Tit the Chickadee had been right all the time
when he
insisted that there was nothing to fear from Farmer Brown's boy. "Why," thought Chatterer,
"if I would have let him, he would have been my friend long ago!" And
so he would have. And this is all about
Chatterer the
Red Squirrel for now. Sammy Jay insists that it is his turn now, and so
the
next book will be about his adventures. |